For those of you wondering if I wasn’t kidding about getting arrested on my birthday, I assure you, I am still a free woman. As free as a socially dysfunctional anxiety-riddled recluse can be, that is. Why was I talking about getting arrested on my birthday? Maybe you should have been following me on Twitter like all the cool kids and you could have known, too. #Youcantsitwithus
Anyway… As you may have guessed, I’m handling this quarter-life crisis thing exceptionally well.
See? I mean, I haven’t gone and adopted a dozen more cats (though not for lack of trying, trust me), so it could be a lot worse. As the photo suggests, I have evolved into the elusive “Recluse Burrito”. It hasn’t proven to be the best defense mechanism against the adult world, but it’s a cozy alternative to responsibilities! Plus it’s warm. No pants? No problem! Take that, winter!
There are a lot of changes in the future, and as they say, with great change comes great responsibility… or something. Clearly I’m not about that life right now. Seriously, I think you guys underestimate just how cozy I am right now. But comfort is not synonymous with fulfillment- I’m realizing that as I officially enter my “mid-twenties”. This particular piece of an article from Psychology Today really drove the concept home. It said:
“Many people get to a state where they let life happen to them instead of allowing them to happen to life — engaging and truly living at their fullest, making their dent in the universe. You start to go through the motions of life rather than fully living yours.”
Sound familiar? I hope not. But if it does, I urge you to fight it- to push upstream. To dig deep into your chest and through all the mess to figure out just what makes your heart beat. That’s what I’m doing, though it may not look like it. But when you suffer from anxiety, with codependency, with trauma, sometimes all your fight goes into getting through the day. And that’s okay, so long as you don’t let the dreary days extinguish your fire. I’ve just recently found the strength to rekindle the damned thing, so I’m making sure to practice as much self care as I can. Because life is short, and I am crazy.
And I’m going to embrace the hell out of that. Because what other choice do we have, really? Embrace the crazy. Endure the suck. Enjoy your life. What have you got to lose?