The Graphics for the New Silent Hill GO Game Are Pretty Impressive

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[To get the full experience, I recommend listening to this soundtrack while you read]

Granted I don’t recall hearing about its release, nor would I ever sign up (2spoopy4me) but I have to admit, Silent Hill GO is pretty terrifying. And the craziest part? It doesn’t even require a cell phone! It must be some sort of new no-gear-needed virtual reality or something. Pretty neat, really.

It didn’t really hit me that something was amiss until we were driving into the neighboring town, in search for dinner. When passing the city limits sign, I thought, well hell- that looks familiar!

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Except when I was able to verbalize said thought, it came out more along the lines of “OH FUCK NO, THIS IS SOME SILENT HILL SHIT, I’M OUT!” Brandon just laughed and shook his head because he’s never played nor seen Silent Hill so he has no idea how serious our predicament was. “SERIOUSLY, THIS IS FOG WORLD TERRITORY. WE HAVE TO LEAVE. OH FUCK, ARE THOSE AIR RAID SIRENS?!

Brandon assured me there were no sirens, and that I just had an overactive imagination, and was spooked by the fog. We’ll see who has the overactive imagination when the walls fall away and are replaced with chain link fence covered in rotting corpses hanging from meat hooks, I may or may not have mumbled to myself.

I did my best to convince myself that I wasn’t going insane- or worse, that we really were in the Otherworld. It was no easy feat though, as traveling alone gives me anxiety. The thought of sleeping in a bed that wasn’t mine made me uncomfortable. That bed being in a house that would quite possibly have any number of monsters lurking which I’d be completely incapable of fighting– now that was scary.

The ice machine in the freezer was Pyramid Head’s Great Knife, scraping across the now grated floor. Xena’s padding around now sounded oddly like the hands of Asphyxia coming down the hall. The odd creaks of the house settling were Larval Stalkers which I swore I could see watching me from the corner of the room. And to top it off, every slight turn and movement made the loose headboard tap against the frame- a haunting tick-tock, counting down until morning.

Fortunately I survived the first night without incident. I’ve searched every room four times over, bravely investigating every new sound. Hell, I even wandered down to the basement (who puts their washer and dryer in a basement that looks like it belongs in a horror film anyway?!) But I found no Mannequins, no Numb Bodies, no messages written in blood. I suppose I’m growing accustomed to the clanking, thumping, and groaning sounds. But the moment I hear two-way static, I’m outta here.

Moral of the story? There is no Silent Hill GO, nor should there ever be. I already have enough psychological ailments, and I’m probably already on the fast track to high blood pressure. If you clicked this post because you were intrigued and perhaps want to play yourself, then you are crazy as hell, and should probably come hang out so when the ash starts falling, I won’t have to battle the Bogeyman alone.

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Or preferably at all. Seriously, fuck that.