Fall is supposed to be my favorite time of the year. It’s supposed to be about getting my basic white bitch on with as many Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes as I can afford (which is not nearly enough). It’s supposed to be about gorging myself on apple cinammon donuts. It’s supposed to be about reveling in the crunch crunch crunch of fallen leaves. It’s supposed to be about wearing ugly, oversized sweaters with no bra. It’s supposed to be the best fucking time of the year.
It’s not supposed to be sleeping for 10 hours a night and yet feeling like I haven’t shut my eyes in years. It’s not supposed to be forgetting to eat until Brandon asks at 7pm what I want to do for dinner. It’s not supposed to be looking at the clock and wondering if it’d be acceptable to open a beer or three. It’s not supposed to be like this at all. But it is. Because I have depression. I have depression, and that’s okay.
I decided to make an effort to watch a single Ted talk every day, in order to hopefully bring some positivity to my life. Today was the first day I was able to follow through with it, and I felt I needed to share what I saw. Because too many of us are suffering in silence, and I think we all need a reminder that it’s okay. And it’ll be okay…
I’m not crying, you’re crying!