This may come as a surprise to some of you, but the life of a depressive, socially inept shut-in is a rather dull one. There are often days, sometimes even weeks, where I lose track of time; My life becomes a constant routine of eat, shit, sleep, repeat. Saturday morning was no different. I slid off the bed, an exhausted pile of goo, willing myself to solidify and face the day.
Then a thing happened. A big thing.
I was walking through Kohl’s with my boyfriend’s Mother when I got a friend request from a woman named “Julie”. Not being one to generally accept unsolicited friend requests, I considered simply deleting it. I perused her profile and, being intrigued by her personality and our oddly similar interests, deciding to shoot her a nonchalant, “Do I know you?” before making any decisions. But she’d beat me to it.
hey, this might sound kind of crazy… she began.
She introduced herself and inquired whether I was related to anyone named Rachel. She had been adopted, and had been desperately searching for her birth Mother for the better part of a decade. The only woman by that name I knew of having relation to was my Aunt, but I had no knowledge of her having a baby in that city on that day in ’88, or having any children outside of her 16 year old son. Still, my curiosity was piqued, so I thought, what the hell, and asked her if she happened to have put a daughter up for adoption that no one knew about.
yes- as a matter of fact I did….
My heart instantly leaped into my throat while my stomach somersaulted. I looked at my boyfriend’s Mother: Holy shit! Her jaw dropped as she covered her mouth. We had been noting similarities in her features, and jokingly confirmed we must be related when we saw the photo of a cat on her wall. I felt the hot flush rise up through my chest, flooding my face and filling my ears. I was completely incapable of processing what I’d just read, let alone speak. I felt hot tears welling up as it began to sink it. My heart drummed in overdrive. This woman was my cousin.
I had no idea what to say. “Welcome to the family!” I typed, my thumbs completely detached from my brain. I’d say you could imagine the flurry of emotions that went through all parties involved, but I can still hardly grasp it myself. We began talking; there was so much to catch up on, but all either of us could really muster was wow.
That morning I had woken up with a pounding headache and programmed distaste for the day. By lunch I had found a long lost family member, and a new friend. A stunningly gorgeous woman only 3 years my elder with a shared passion for nature, psychology, and animals. A woman who had wondered for ages who her biological Mother was- what she looked like, what she loved, and so much more. Someone I could have been building pillow forts and sharing secrets with all these years (Fuck that, I’m an adult. I can still have slumber parties if I damned well please!) Here was someone who had devoted so much of herself into this journey, when I myself sat ambition-less day in and day out.
That evening I found myself at the beach in South Haven, watching the sun disappear beneath the waves, making room for the Blue Moon. I took a few photos, none of which were capable of remotely capturing the beauty I was surrounded by. Just as these words do so little justice to the euphoria and love I’m so very grateful to be experiencing.
Welcome to the Family, Julie… <3